Friday, November 8, 2013

Worth.

Today has been one of those days that slips through your hands before you even know what hit you.

This old building has either AC on with no heat or heat on with no AC. They just recently switched to ALL HEAT and all of my neighbors have theirs blaring. I like to be nice and cool at home so that I can wear socks and comfy pants and wrap myself up with blankets. It's been insanely hot in here over the past few days but after leaving the windows cracked last night, all over the apartment, this morning was full of crisp, chilly, fall air and I couldn't have been happier. It was perfect.

I had some tea and looked over some pages that I printed I like to edit by hand and then I thought I would take a relaxing shower before getting ready for work. I washed my hair and lathered it up with conditioner. I soaped up my loofah and in the middle of scrubbing, the water shut off.....

I stood there, perplexed, staring at the shower head and thinking YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

After a ridiculous and humiliating trip to the supermarket for some jugs of water, I called my building manager and apparently, a pipe burst. I decided to take the night off from work, after all of that hassle.

Did I make productive use of my time off? No way. I'm inclined to say "oh well" to that, though, because I've been working pretty hard lately. I've been working on my writing in between putting in a lot of hours. I'm still feeling really good about my job and that place is starting to feel more and more like home to me.

I'm on the verge of entering my word count into the NaNoWriMo word counter, even though I'm still not 100% on board with participating in it. I can completely see how motivating it would be to do NaNo as a fiction writer but, for some reason, it still doesn't seem right for the story I'm telling. I guess the beauty of expression is that mine is just that-mine. I don't need to make decisions about anything if I don't want to, right? It won't hurt to take advantage of the coincidence; NaNo beginning right as a book starts to pour from my fingers.

I've been having trouble believing in myself lately, especially when it comes to writing. I need to do a better job seeing my worth. Everyone starts of as an amateur and I believe that if you create art and it benefits you in any way to do so, it is a success, even if it's not award winning.

All that matters is that I feel compelled to write.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorta on the fence about entering my word count into the NaNoWriMo word counter too..... I did in the first day, but everything I've written since is scattered between documents on different computers and a lot of it is written by hand, so I'd have to do a lot of consolitation and typing to get a word count and to be honest... Knowing isn't really all that important to me.

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